In a hotel devoid of our American friends, we sit next to some Brummies in a cliff top restaurant overlooking the bay of Naples:
“The omelette and chips here is very good.” 
23 June 2017

Having left the egg pervading smell of Deetjens Guest house we stop at Big Sur Coast Cafe/Shop looking for an internet connection where the assitant inexplicably asks:
“Are you gentlemen looking for eggs?”
22 January 2016

The Cypress Inn, Carmel by Sea, California, USA: the maitre de lady at Doris Day’s hotel advises an elderly guest:
“Another day above ground is a bonus!”
20 January 2016

Pog Mahones Pub, Queenstown, New Zealand: An American family watch as a duck eats a discarded onion ring next to their table in one swallow:
“They eat fish don’t they?”
19 December 2013

Victoria Airport, British Columbia: an excitable overly verbose check in lady at the gate to a puzzled traveller:
“POP-QUIZ – which plane door are you?”
28 June 2013

Montreal Downtown: a tourist talking to her friend as they gaze up at the 1970’s Canadian modern architecture:
“Oooh – Look at all those ledges that people can jump to their death with!”
14 June 2013

Temples of Angkor; Siem Reap: a tourist talking to her Cambodian guide at Neak Poan, a temple constructed on a man-made island in a lake:

Tourist: “So is this like medicine?”
Guide: “No… it’s a moat!”
14 October 2012

Beijing: On a restaurant terrace overlooking Chairman Mao’s mausoleum and two storeys above Tiananmen Square to the bewildered waitress:
“So where’s the Forbidden City, …and where’s Tiananmen Square?”
06 October 2012

Beijing Hotel G:
At the adjacent breakfast table explaining the nuances of car mechanics to his wife:
“If the car’s on, the power’s on, and the windows go up and down.”
05 October 2012

Pingjiang Road in Suzhou, outside a bar:
“Cheers!… Ummm…. Salut!… Oh no, that’s Spanish!”
27 September 2012

In the Humble Administrators Garden in central Suzhou:
“Gawd, this makes me feel so humbled!”
27 September 2012

Shanghai Citadines Jinqaio Hotel:
In a knowlegeable way she sat in the quiet breakfast room speaking in a distinctive clear voice:
“My problem is China is getting way too much like Asia – there’s no Mexican food in the city anywhere!”
23 September 2012

Heathrow T5 (very long) fast-track queue:
“This is Fast-track?… …Awesome… …Fuck, Fucking, Fuck!”
20 September 2012

One Response to Americanisms

  1. Nani says:

    Love it!! It’s got to be a 9/10!! Keep them coming.

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